Barbara was stunned. The bloated body they pulled out of the river had been violently stabbed to death. There was no mistaking that this was her husband (she knew it by the clothes he wore). Only a short time ago, having devoted themselves to God\u2019s work, she and Roger had left America together to serve the Lord in a strange, new place. But now she was bereaved. Barbara had every reason to feel sorry for herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Barbara Youderian was married to one of the five missionaries who were killed by headhunters in 1956; Jim Elliot, Peter Fleming, Ed McCully, Nate Saint, and Roger Youderian. Without any warning, five young widows were left alone in the jungles of Ecuador to process what had just happened to the men they loved, and their future without them. That included Barbara. She was stunned. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Self-pity grows best in a climate like that one. When a person who\u2019s committed to doing the Lord\u2019s will receives (what seems to be) unfair treatment in spite of it, self-pity can flourish. When the very things we expect to bring reward<\/em>, end up feeling like punishment<\/em>, it\u2019s hard not to sulk. Author Jon Bloom writes, \u201cSelf-pity is our sinful, selfish response to something not going the way we think it should<\/em>\u201d. And since the Christian life and ministry rarely (if ever?) go the way we \u201cthink it should<\/em>\u201d, feeling sorry for yourself can happen fast.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Jesus is branded in Scripture as a \u201cman of sorrows<\/em>\u201d and by theologians as a \u201cSuffering Servant<\/em>\u201d. Even though His life was marked from beginning to end with undying love & perfect obedience, much of what He got in return was disapproval, mockery, & abuse. It\u2019s the true servants of God who have more occasion for self-pity than, perhaps, anyone else alive. One of the great victories of the Christian sojourn therefore, is to learn how to properly manage our feelings when God\u2019s plan reveals an unexpected twist. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIf you suffer for doing what\u2019s right, and endure it patiently, God is pleased with you<\/em>\u201d (I Peter 2:20<\/strong>).<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Problems are never fixed by self-pity, they\u2019re only made worse. Merriam-Webster defines the term as a \u201cself-indulgent dwelling on one’s own sorrows or misfortunes<\/em>\u201d. It\u2019s like poison to the soul, but we drink it anyway, totally unaware of the suicide we\u2019re attempting. And serving the Lord can make a person thirsty for it, so be careful. The more self-pity you swallow, the more it swallows you. The Prophet Jonah drank his fair share, and barely survived to tell the tale. It wasn\u2019t the fish<\/em> that nearly killed him, as much as it was his bad attitude<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As risky as it is to be faithful to Jesus in a hostile world, it\u2019s we ourselves that we should be most careful of. It\u2019s quite often a poor outlook that slays a servant of God rather than the danger of the work itself. Much of what we call \u201cburnout\u201d has self-pity as its underlying cause. Dwelling on our own misfortune is exhausting, self-defeating work, and it\u2019s been the ruin of many. Oswald Chambers cautions against too much introspection, because it \u201cawakens self-pity. And self-pity<\/em>\u201d he says, \u201cis satanic<\/em>\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Barbara Youderian kept a diary. On the very night that she learned of her husband\u2019s murder, she wrote to explain the peace she felt: \u201cI want to be free of self-pity. It is a tool of Satan to rot away a life…I am sure that this (situation) is the perfect will of God…the Lord has closed (my) heart to grief & hysteria, and filled it with His perfect peace<\/em>\u201d\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Doing God\u2019s will can seem very unfair at times, and the devil will remind you of it every chance he gets. I don\u2019t know of anyone who doesn\u2019t face this battle every once in a while; I\u2019m sure Barbara did. But she also knew that serving the Lord, no matter how difficult it was, or how high the price, was an honor above all honors. She understood that fact when she went to Ecuador with her husband, and even more so when she came home alone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n No one is more pitiful than the Christian who pities themselves for having to serve the Lord. Nobody on earth should pity you for having such a high privilege\u2026Nobody<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026Not even yourself<\/em>. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A Sad Story… Barbara was stunned. The bloated body they pulled out of the river had been violently stabbed to death. There was no mistaking that this was her husband (she knew it by the clothes he wore). Only a short time ago, having devoted themselves to God\u2019s work, she and Roger had left America … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":9276,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9300","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pastors-notes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.jfbduluth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9300","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.jfbduluth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.jfbduluth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.jfbduluth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.jfbduluth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9300"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blog.jfbduluth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9300\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15872,"href":"https:\/\/blog.jfbduluth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9300\/revisions\/15872"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.jfbduluth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9276"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.jfbduluth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9300"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.jfbduluth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9300"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.jfbduluth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9300"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n
A Sinful Response…<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
A Special Honor…<\/h3>\n\n\n\n